


Lance's Journey

by Tyler_KB



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Asexual Pidge | Katie Holt, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Chases, Cuban Lance (Voltron), Escape, F/M, Feelings Realization, Galra are also bad, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Going Home, Hunk (Voltron) is so Pure, Lance and Lotor against the universe, Lotor hates feelings, Lotor is good, Lotor would protect Lance with his life, M/M, Narti Lives, Paladins are kind of bad, Sad Lance (Voltron), Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, healthy Lance/Lotor, non-binary Pidge
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-03-09 23:46:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13492356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tyler_KB/pseuds/Tyler_KB
Summary: Lance wanted out.He was tired of being the sixth wheel, well, eighth now that Keith is back and Matt was found.It's not that he wasn't happy they were here, it's just...he doesn't feel needed anymore.Shiro can now pilot the Black Lion again, Keith wants Red back and Lance would sooner die than ask Allura for Blue despite how much he wants her back.He isn't smart like Hunk, Pidge, or Matt and he can't barely help Coran with the castle ship...he has nothing going for him out here in space, but when a run away prince comes and offers to take him home to earth, how can Lance refuse?Now on the run with a alien he knows almost nothing about, they have to dodge not only Galra, but Lance's old team as well if they ever want to reach Earth.





	1. Chapter 1

Lance's POV:  
Some times, on the days I circle the blade around my fingers, I question what happened to get me into this situation.

First I joined The Garrison, where my self esteem was pulled out of me and crushed in front of my eyes, then I escaped with Pidge and Hunk, where we found Keith rescuing Shiro. We followed them and found Blue a few days later, who sent us into space where we found Allura and Coran, who where frozen for ten thousand years.

From there we started saving the universe, despite the fact we were just teenagers and Shiro's mind was unstable from the beginning, also known as five people that really shouldn't have this kind of pressure on them.

It was fun I guess, meeting all those people and having so many adventures. Then it all went downhill, it started when Shiro was captured, I had to take over Red because Keith took the Black Lion.

And Allura got Blue, my baby.

I didn't get along with Red, and when we found Shiro again and he was able to take control of the Black Lion again, I began to wonder; "when would they not need me anymore?"

I think I found out the answer yesterday.

Keith was permanently back from his time with the Blade, and I could tell he wanted Red back, so I gave him up.

I told Keith that he wasn't my lion, and I couldn't keep him from his rightful pilot.

But I wanted to.

I wanted to scream at Keith that he left us, he didn't deserve to fly Red because he left with people that weren't his real team or friends, that Red was now rightfully mine.

But I couldn't, I refused to.

Instead I patted him on the shoulder, ignored him shouting my name, and went back to my room and locked the door so only I could open it.

Now I'm sitting on my bed questioning my own worth.

The room is messy, I really should clean it, but to be honest, I don't remember the last time I had the motivation to do anything like that.

When did I lose my happiness? Was it during The Garrison? Or even before then? Maybe when Shiro came back and I realized how useless I was to the team? No no no it was before that, long before that.

Maybe I've always been this way.

I stop spinning the blade, it's just a simple thing I stole from the med bay, does a good job though, the cuts on my thighs and arms prove it.

They might have noticed, how I don't wear short sleeves or shorts anymore, how my smiles have become more fake or my hair getting greasy from the lack of a shower.

I know, Lance not taking a shower? It sounds unbelievable, but I think it's been a few days...no...a few weeks since my last one.

Shiro asked me a few times if I was okay, same with Hunk and Pidge. Allura and Matt asked once or twice, even Keith noticed something was weird and asked if I wanted to talk with him. Coran was he only one that could figure it out, he found out a few days ago when my sleeves accidentally slid down as I was reaching for something.

He asked but I said it was nothing, just laughed it off before running back to my room and yelling about what I failure I was.

He tried to talk to me, but I just kept pushing him away, I began to push everyone away.

I heard them talking a few days ago, about what was happening with me.

Coran told them, I wanted to run in there and yell at him because he had no right to tell them. They started treating me differently, I hated it so much. It was like they walked on egg shells around me, like I would break at anytime.

Until yesterday

We were called to fight, I jumped in Red and thought I was doing fine, until my mind started moving into a new direction, a dark one.

I don't remember what happened, my mind just went blank and I couldn't do anything, like I was on autopilot.

I remember being hit, I remember watching Pidge and the Green Lion, who I was supposed to be protecting, get hit, but that was it.

They took care of it without me, I was useless, unneeded.

They yelled at me through the coms, but I didn't reply, I didn't know how to.

Somehow I got back to the castle ship, mind still completely blank.

I remember Allura yelling at me, Shiro yelling at me, Keith glaring at me as if he were holding himself back from killing me right there. Matt also glared because I was the reason his sibling got hurt, though not nearly as harshly as Keith was. Pidge had a few bruises and a small cut on her cheek, but neither they nor Hunk yelled, yet I could feel their anger, their disappointment.

That's why I gave Keith Red back, Keith was better than I'll ever be.

After they stopped yelling, I escaped to my room, missing dinner entirely. I cut until I couldn't see my arms or legs over the blood, at sometime I think I passed out, but I couldn't possibly tell you when.

Hunk said he found me, had Pidge find a way to open the open because he knew the look I had in my eyes when I left. He brought me to the med bay and stuck me in a healing pod. When Coran was told he said I didn't lose enough blood to get close to death, and promised only he, Hunk, and Pidge knew anything.

They let me out, and automatically I returned Red to Keith.

Although it got me thinking, what would happen if I did die?

And low and behold, that's exactly what I'm thinking about now, the entire castle dead asleep.

I stand, clutching the blade in my hand, the sharp part digs into my hand. I feel blood seeping from the new wound, falling to the floor in small drops.

I open my door, sticking the blade in my pocket and walking to the left.

I'm not going anywhere specific, just walking until I find a nice place to sit, maybe end my life I don't know.

But I'm stopped when a voice cuts through the silence.

"Hello paladins of Voltron, my name is Lotor, I wish to discuss an important matter with you."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lotor is a bit OOC, but give me a break cause it's my first time writing a Voltron fic

Lance's POV:  
Nobody looked pleased with the situation other than Lotor.

He promised no violence and allowed us to cuff him if it made us feel better, so Allura allowed him on board and Shiro put some handcuffs on him.

Now we're all just sitting in the common room, Pidge with dark bags under her eyes (granted that's not new), Hunk in his yellow lion pajamas, and Matt leaning on Shiro looking practically alsleep, the others (Shiro, Allura, Keith, and Coran) looking ready to attack at any moment if needed.

Then there was me, wearing a short sleeved shirt (bandages on full display, though I don't think anyone is really noticed) with a blade in my pocket. Damn, fifteen minutes ago I was walking to end my life, now the Prince of Galra is sitting a few feet in front of me looking very happy with himself.

"You said you wished to discuss something?" Allura held confidence in her voice, an air of authority that we don't hear too often.

Lotor chuckled, "yes, as you might know I was...relieved of my duties as prince and have been given a heavy sentence, kill on sight." I gasp quietly, although the others don't seem to share my shock.

"What's it to us?" Shiro asked, Lotor shrugged in response.

"Nothing except some Galra secrets, I did lead them for quite awhile." For a moment he makes eye contact with me, I look away quickly.

I shouldn't even be here, this is paladin business, something for important people, not a depressed kid who can't contribute anything of worth.

They think Lotor's words over, it's Allura that breaks the silence first.

"Fine, what do you want in exchange for those secrets?" She practically hisses it out, definitely not happy with what was decided, but even I know we need any information we can get, and Lotor is the perfect person to give it to us.

"Just a place to stay while I think of a plan, Zarkon has many people out to kill me and I don't really want to be anywhere near their range." It's understandable, he's actually worth something and shouldn't want to die like I do.

Keith glares, "how do we know you aren't bullshiting us?" Lotor shrugs, smirking slightly at Keith.

"You can't, but if you have an idea on a way for me to prove what I say is true then I'll do it if possible." They think for a moment, the entire time Lotor is staring straight at me, it's almost creepy.

Okay...it's actually pretty creepy

"I'm too exhausted to even think," Allura starts, "we'll think of something when it's a more decent time to be awake," she turns to me, "you'll room with Lance, I want you on constant watch."

My eyes widen, "me?!"

She glares, "yes Lance, you. I fear Shiro, Keith, Coran, and I would murder him if we were to be in the same room as him for any longer, if Shiro is out that means Matt is out, and I am in no way allowing Pidge nor Hunk to room with him."

It's not said, but I translate it to 'you're the least important so you get to watch the guy that's been trying to kill us for the night and maybe even longer, have fun.'

I don't try to fight it, knowing that it doesn't matter what I say, no one would listen to me.

I stand, "okay, come on Lotor." I see him stand and walk closer to me, following after me.

Once we're out of earshot, he begins to talk.

"I noticed the knife, may I ask why you have it?" Oh, so that's why he was staring at me.

I pull it out, quickly wiping some of the leftover blood off of it, "I honestly forgot I had it."

It's not a lie, but it's also not the truth.

He hums, "and the bandages? Not typically a place a pilot gets hurt..." I glare at the ground, this guy just had to fuck up my death tonight huh?

"I'm not a pilot, and be glad, if you're kicked out tomorrow you don't ever have to see nor fight me again..." my voice goes quieter as we reach the door to my room, he doesn't reply, instead remaining silent as I open the door.

I stare at the blood on the floor near my bed, sighing and grabbing a cloth, wiping it from the floor until it's gone.

Lotor doesn't say anything, I almost want to thank him for it, but instead I throw the bloody cloth in the corner of the room and try to forget about it.

"You aren't a paladin anymore?" I scoff, for a moment I forget who I'm talking to, for a moment I forget everything and explode.

"Yeah, didn't you see them? Allura gave the job of watching you to me, she probably hopes that you kill me so she doesn't have to do it herself. I gave the red lion back to Keith today, hell, Red wasn't even my lion to begin with but goddamnit Keith doesn't deserve Red because he left us for the Blade! And Allura has Blue, my real lion, and I could never ask for her back because Allura is actually good at piloting Blue! I'm just fucking worthless don't you get it?! Don't look at me like that!" There's an emotion I can't place in Lotor's eyes, almost like shock.

"God, now I'm yelling about my problems to the Prince of the Galra, well ex-Prince I guess...god I don't know anything about you and you just learned more about me then my best friend does..." I flop on my bed, covering myself up and facing away from Lotor.

It's silent, a beautiful lack of noise I hope to hear forever.

"Ah, I see."

There's a strong realization in his voice, I almost turn over to see what he's doing.

"You were going to kill yourself tonight, yes? But my arrival stopped you?" It's said in such a fancy way, like I'm just a low life talking with royalty that couldn't care less about rather I live or die.

Granted, I guess that's what happening.

"Well I am glad I picked such a wonderful time to finally show up!" My breathing stops for a second, and I finally turn to face Lotor, who is staring at me.

"Huh?" He chuckles, sitting next to my covered feet.

"What? Think the Prince of Galra lead the perfect life? I've been on the run for I don't even know how long, the entire universe against me. I had to murder one of the people I trusted because the witch possessed her and my generals tried to turn me over to the Galra for me to be killed. I was abandoned and unneeded until you nearly killed my father, even then I was untrusted by most," he lays his head on his hand, staring straight into my eyes, "I thought about it so many times on that small ship I was forced to travel in, just launching myself into space and letting myself die by my own hand because the only that will kill me is myself."

It's a shocking confession that I would have never expected, he chuckles again when finished.

"Looks like we are even now, you told me too much and I told you too much."

I stare at him with wide eyes, mouth open in shock.

"I...I don't know what to say," I emit, sitting up.

He shrugs, "don't say anything...in fact, let's start over and forget it happened, yes?"

He puts his hand out, "my name is Lotor."

I take his hand hesitantly, "I'm Lance."

He smiles softly, it's almost a smirk.

"Nice to meet you Lance, I feel like we will get along nicely, especially after the little...'bonding' moment we just had."

 


	3. Chapter 3

Lance's POV:  
The night went...better and was easier than I thought it would be.

Lotor actually was pretty cool, hell he managed to get me in the shower after he had his own. Neither one of us could sleep, we both had nightmares, so we basically just gave each their facials until Shiro came to 'wake us up'.

It was...one of the best nights I've had in a long time and the first time in probably months earth time that I had real fun.

Just like last night, the nine of us are sitting in together, only this time it's in the dining room and everyone is more awake.

A few of us are drinking a coffee like drink and Hunk had made breakfast, so we're eating a wonderful meal.

The rest of us are used to Hunk's cooking, but Lotor looks as if it's the most delicious thing he's ever had, and honestly, it just might be.

"Lotor, we have decided what you can do to prove what you are saying." He faces Allura, placing his fork down.

"And what would that be?" He asks, turning to look at me for a split second.

"Give is the whereabouts of Zarkon and the witch and his condition," she says, and Lotor nods.

"Do we have a map? I will be able to point it out to you, as for his condition he is still weak but was able to steal the position as leader back from me so much stronger than he was, he is able to command and is not happy with me nor the rebellion and is growing more angry by the quintant."

The room is silent, Pidge clears their throat.

"I was able to find out from an intersected transmission that Lotor is telling the truth on his...status in the Galra community, Zarkon did give the orders of kill on sight..." they look uncomfortable, "and I was able to learn that his generals are being tortured for information on his whereabouts, if that means anything."

I see a glimpse of pain flash through Lotor's eyes, but he shakes it off.

"It doesn't matter to me, they tried to turn me over, so why should I care?"

I've only talked with him maybe five varga's, but I can tell he's lying. He wants to help his generals, but isn't sure if they would even want him to.

"So you are telling the truth, but I still need the location of Zarkon, we don't have the ability to fight him now but this could help us in other ways, you also need to point out any Galra bases you are aware of." Lotor nods, following after Shiro, Allura, and Coran.

That leaves the rest of us alone to stare at each other.

Pidge stands first, "I need to do some work, you coming Matt?" They ask, Matt nods, the two walk out of the dining room to Green's hanger, waving bye to us.

Hunk stands next, "hey Lance, I need to fix something but after I'm done you want to play video games?" I smile, nodding.

"Yeah man! If you wanna get your ass beat again." He laughs, waving bye to me and walking the same way as Pidge and Matt.

That leaves just Keith and I.

He looks uncomfortable, and the silence is really suffocating.

"I'll get going...I'm sure Kaltenecker needs some love..." I say, standing and turning away.

"Wait!" I stop, turning to face Keith, who is looking away from me to the floor. "I wanted to talk with you, if that's okay?" He looks worried and desperate, I would be a shitty person to say no.

I smile, "sure, here or somewhere else?" 

He straches his arm, "um, how about my room? It's a...private converation?" My mind starts making up every possible thing he could want to talk to me about, both good and horrible.

I follow Keith to his room, the boy doesn't say anything to me, making me even more uncomforable. He closes the door behind me, we stare at each other for a moment, he sighs.

"Why did you give Red back to me?" I look away, I should have known this was what he wanted to talk about.

"Well, Red is your lion you know? And you said you weren't returning to the blade so I decided that you would want him back," I shrug, "besides, you're 100x better at piloting him than me." He look he gives me is one of disbelief, like what I said was the craziest thing he's ever heard.

"Lance, I'm happy to have Red back of course, but you were wonderful piloting him!" He sighs, "so when are you going to ask Allura for Blue back?"I look away, crossing my arms.

"I'm not."

Keith doesn't anything, but I know that silence, it's a silence full of pure shock and disbelief, the same one that overtook me and Lotor after I broke and yelled out some of the stuff I was feeling.

"You're...not going to ask Allura for Blue?" I shake my head, not meeting his eyes. "But...but Blue is your lion! The trade was only suppost to be until we found Shrio! A-And we have him now so everything can go back to how it was before he disappeared!" He exclaims, gaining emotion during his speech.

I scoff, "Allura is better than I'll ever be, I'm not even suppost to be a fight pilot! You know what Iverson said, I'm only a cargo pil-!" "To hell what Iverson said!"

My eyes widen, and finally I meet his eyes, which are heated with anger.

"Iverson doesn't matter anymore, he never matted, you have done so many amazing things as a paladin, don't throw it all away..." he grabs my hand, "please Lance..." I blink away a tear, wiping my eyes.

"I'm sorry Keith, but I'm not going to be a paladin anymore, I can try and...find something else to do." Suddenly the anger in his eyes is aimed at me, and he lets go of my hand harshly, crossing his arms and glaring at me.

"Fine, try and find another thing to do on this ship. What the hell do you plan on even doing? I've never seen you fix or hack anything and I know you can't read Altean, so those are out! Just wanna watch on the sidelines and let us do all the work?!" My eyes are wide, but I narrow them.

"Shut the hell up Keith! At least I stayed with the team! You left us for the Blade, hell I wish you had just stayed with them so I didn't have to see you!" Hurt flashes through his eyes, but he covers it up quickly.

"You know what Lance? Iverson was right...you are just a useless cargo pilot, why don't you just leave? It would do us all a favor if you never returned, we don't need you here anyways..." my hurt isn't covered as fast as Keith's, in fact, it's not covered at all. Tears gather in my eyes as I stare in horror at Keith. His eyes almost have an apology written in them, but he doesn't voice it, just points at the door.

I obey, turning and running down the hall to my own room. 

A part of me feels like I hear him whisper, "god, I can't believe I ever loved him..." but that's not possible.

No one loves me.


	4. Chapter 4

Lance's POV:  
I kept replaying Keith's words in my mind, wondering if they were true.

I mean, they are true...I guess I just can't believe Keith was the one to confirm them.

Everything hurts, and I just want it to end, I just want to leave.

But where would I go? Because rather I like it or not, I'm in the middle of space, lightyears away from earth.

Away from my family...god I miss them so much. 

I miss home, I miss Cuba, the beach, surfing, home cooked meals, my cousins, siblings, nieces, nephews...I miss my mama the most though.

The boys back home would make fun of me for being a 'mamas boy',but I didn't care because I knew my mama would never leave me.

Yeah, instead I left her.

God they all think I'm dead, I wonder what the Garrison told them happened...guess I'll never know now.

I could steal one of the ships...there's a few small ones on the castle ship, but nothing that could possibly get me anywhere near home.

Maybe far enough where I could just die in peace? Just...shoot myself out and become one with space?

Yeah...that would work.

I jump at a knock on my door, stopping my packing, which I had began during my thinking. I throw the backpack in the corner of my room, hoping that whoever is there doesn't notice.

Running, and putting on a fake smile, I open the door. Hunk is standing there, a smile on his own face.

"Hey dude! You ready to play?" He asks, and for a moment I'm confused, then I remember how we agreed we would play video games.

"Hell yeah I am! Are you ready to get your ass beat?" He chuckles walking in and grabbing one of the controllers. I start up the game, happy that Pidge and I had figured out how to get it to work on the castle ship.

I load up the game, Hunk choses his normal charater and I chose my own, pushing the start botton.

We play for a bit, laughing and playfully arguing like we did back on earth, back when everything was normal and we weren't constantly fighting for our lives.

"So, did something happen with Keith?" I stop, Hunk's character killing mine. He rasies an eyebrow at the screen, turning it to me.

"No, we just...nothing happened." I say, watching the round restart.

"Really? Keith isn't acting like 'nothing happened', he won't talk with anyone, just yelled that it was your fault," my breath shifts, "so what happened Lance? I won't push you but I want my team to be happy."

I sigh, "we got into an argument and I may have said I wished he had just stayed with the Blade so I wouldn't have to see him anymore..." Hunk sighs, pausing the game.

"That's not all is it?" I shake my head.

"How'd you know?" He chuckles, nodding in the direction of the bag I was packing.

"You wouldn't leave just because you insulted Keith." He's too smart for his own good, but I give in, Hunk is my best friend after all.

"He insulted me back, normally that wouldn't bother me...but it hit home, he said that Iverson was right about me being useless and that I should just disappear because I'm not a paladin anymore and I can't help with anything on the ship since I'm not smart enough to do anything, that I would actually help you guys if I just left and never returned."

Hunk wraps me in a hug, "Keith doesn't really think that Lance...he was just angry at what you said, it definitely wouldn't help anything if you left, we all love you so much."

It's a lie, my brain is whispering it to me. 

Hunk is lying, he hates you, he wants you gone.

We return to the game, not talking nearly as much, but after awhile we manage to break the tension and return to the happy feeling that was orginally there.

Hunk leaves after a few varga's, giving me a tight hug that I definitely needed, one I'm going to miss because tonight...tonight I'm leaving.

I know no one else is coming to see me, so I start packing again, trying to fit everything I can into one backpack, the other one is going to be used for food and drinks.

My door slides open, I freeze, right in the middle of zipping the backpack. Lotor stands in the door frame, watching me carefully with a shocked look.

"I didn't know I would scare you off so quickly." I almost laugh, instead I just let out an unattractive snort. 

"It's not you." He hums, closing the door and sitting on the bed.

"Then what is it?"

I sigh, dropping the backpack.

"Everything, I'm going to try and find my way back to earth," I emit, deciding that Lotor can't do anything to stop me.

"Ah, your home planet," he chuckles, "I saw the other ships on here, they won't get you anywhere near earth, which I found on the map Allura showed me, it's likely more than nine hundred lightyears away from here."

I sigh, "well maybe I'll die-" "but I do know a ship that could get you there in maybe twenty quintant's if good time is made." 

My eyes widen, but Lotor's expression is calm, if maybe a little mischievous.

"Where?" 

He chuckles, "a galra base, my galra base, one I convelently forgot to tell Shiro and Allura about," he sighs, leaning his head on his hand, "I was going to head there, but the witch knows where it is so I didn't...but we could just run in, grab the ship and be on our way? It's a good size, could protect us if needed, and doesn't have anything galra on the outside so rebels wouldn't attempt to shoot us down."

It's the perfect offer, one I could never turn down if it meant going home and seeing my family again...but something is off.

"Wait...we?" 

He chuckles, "of course, you think I want to be on this castle ship thing? I'm surpried Allura didn't kill me the second I said that's all the bases and information I knew," he twirls a piece of hair around his fingers, "I love adventures and being safe on earth sounds like the perfect one."

He puts his hand out, and I remember last night when he did the exact same thing.

"I barely know anything about you." He chuckles, but doesn't move his hand.

"I barely know anything about you as well, but a trip like this could be the perfect time to learn." His voice screams promise, one I would be stupid to accept...but one I would be stupid to deny as well.

So, I take his hand, "you have a deal, when do we leave?"

He smirks, "the second everyone is asleep we take the ship I came here in, don't worry about grabbing food nor a weapon, there is plenty of both on the ship. You're going to love it, sharpshooter."

My face heats up, but I nod.

"When everyone is asleep."


	5. Chapter 5

Lance's POV:  
This was easily one of the scariest, and stupidest, things I've ever done.

First, I'm leaving my team (which includes my two best friends) with an alien I barely know anything about.

Second, I might really be returning to earth after...I don't even know how long.

It's what I've wanted for so long, and now that it's right in my grasp, I don't know if I'm willing to risk everything.

Who am I kidding? I'm ready to see my family.

"Hey Lance?" I freeze, Lotor does as well.

The two of us are heading for the dinning room to eat dinner with everyone else, my last dinner with everyone...ever maybe.

I turn, Keith stands there, just a few steps behind me. Lotor watches intensly, but says nothing.

"Yeah...?" Keith sighs, dropping his arms from having them crossed.

"I talked with Hunk and he explained how my comment about-" he galres at Lotor, "can I talk to Lance alone?" Lotor chuckles, turning and waving as he continues his way to the dinning room.

I watch Lotor walk away, until Keith get's my attention again. "I didn't realize how much it would affect you...and I did some thinking over recent events and I realized how stupid I was to lash out like that," his eyes almost seem to be holding back tears, "the truth is that I don't want to see you sad anymore because, well, you mean a lot to me."

The confession is like a slap to the face, one with a chair because it doesn't change my opinion.

I still want to leave.

I smile, walking over and hugging Keith, he stiffens up. "Don't worry Keith, I did some thinking too and you won't have to see me like that anymore," I pause, trying to figure out how to word this, "Lotor and Hunk promised they would help out."

He pulls back, eyebrow raised, "Lotor?" 

I nod, "yeah! We get along really well, I know, I didn't expect it either," I try to laugh, "but you don't need to worry, they'll make sure I stay alive and all that festive stuff."

He gently grabs my hand, the same one Lotor touched just a few minutes ago, "okay Lance, I believe you, and I know it doesn't always seem like it, but we really love you being here, it would be...so different without you."

The two of us walk to the dining room together, just making small talk, although I do most of it.

Everyone is calm, just eating whatever food Hunk made. 

Pidge and Hunk are talking nerd stuff, Matt is trying to touch Shrio's crouch without anyone seeing (or the opposite, honestly Matt is kinkier than I am), Allura and Coran are quietly chatting, the mice sitting on Allura's shoulder, and Lotor is silently sitting, stuck in his own thoughts.

Lotor follows me with his eyes as I sit next to him, "Lance, will we still be doing facials tonight?"

It's a code that we made up before we left, I smile.

'Are we still leaving tonight?'

"Yeah! I was thinking we should also paint nails."

'Yeah, but we need to leave as soon as possible.'

He raises an eyebrow, not paying attention to everyone watching us interacting.

"That can be done, toes or fingers?"

'We can do that, right after dinner or once they are asleep?'

"Fingers so we can show everyone how fabulous we are, but we need to give them time to dry so we should do them after facials."

'Once they are asleep so they won't catch us and we have more time to go.'

Pidge chuckles, taking a bite of their food. "Sounds like you two get along." The rest of the table nods, excluding Keith, who looks both confused and concerned.

I shrug, "Lotor isn't as dumb and evil as I thought, we really have way more in common than you would think."

Lotor laughs, raising an eyebrow in a challenging way. 

"It is true, Lance can hold quite the nice conversation, and has told me much about earth culture-" I cut him off, "and in return he taught me about Galra culture and a bit of Altean, I can't believe I didn't ask Allura or Coran to tell me about it sooner, it's so interesting!"

Allura blushes, "I didn't know if anyone would care much for it, but maybe I can give you a few books we have on the castle of our culture and other planets cultures."

Coran nods, "yes! We can find some tonight if you would like?" I nod, Coran claps his hands in joy.

"How about we look after we eat?" I nod again, smiling and shovling a few bites of food into my mouth.

"What about our facials and nails, Lance?" Lotor asks, I turn my smile to him.

"Don't worry Lotor, I can do it quick so we'll have plenty of time, maybe I could read them while we're doing them? You might find them interesting."

'We will still be leaving, but the books might be nice to have in order to read on the journey.'

He hums, "yes I suppose you are right."

The rest of eating is filled with light chatter and laugher, Matt telling us stories from his and Pidge's childhoods, making the teen blush and hit Matt a few times when he said something a little too embarrassing, also known as most of the stories.

I stretch, "I'm finished, Coran think we can go get some of those books?" I ask, standing up. He nods, standing as well.

"Yes! I'm sure we have a large selection, I don't remember the library very well you know, we don't go in there too often anymore, though it's where Alfor and I would teach Allura." He says as we walk out of earshot of everyone. He says Alfor's name so fondly, yet it's laced with pain.

"You were good friends with him..." I concluding, letting him lead us.

Coran chuckles, "you could say that, after Allura's mother died, Allura was only a year old, Alfor and I were able to get married and be bonded." I stop in my tracks, staring at him with wide eyes. Coran stops, looking back in confusion. "What? Was it something I said?" 

I blink, "um...no, I just didn't know you married her dad, so that means...?"

Coran chuckles, "yes I am basically Allura's second father, though she always saw me as uncle Coran, so I didn't attempt to change it, Alfor did, but it didn't bother me. I see it in your eyes, so yes, for many years I was one of the King's of Altea," he sighs happily, "it was stressful, Alfor did most of the work though so I have no room to say it was a streeful job. You may think it was bad that Alfor moved on so quickly, many did so don't say you don't, but Allura's mother knew the entire time that Alfor held both her and I in his heart and told him that if she were to die that he better marry me no later than fifteen quanants after, so we married seven quanants after her death to the shock of most Alteans in the Kingdom."

He chuckles with a sad smile, "she was a saint, loved me like a brother and I loved her like a sister, yet we both loved Alfor and I decided that she would marry him instead because then she could give him a child. She offered to let me marry him, ever the selfless person, and she still mother his kid, but then Allura would have been a 'bastard' child and I wouldn't allow it, so they married...ah here we are!"

He opens a pair of large doors, but I'm still trying to process everything he just spilled.

"Alfor, ever the many talented man he was, wrote an entire book on it," he pauses, "yet he didn't finish it, I found it awhile after Allura and I came out of our sleep, so I did it for him, my ending is no where near as good as his writing but I like it none the less."

He runs over to a shelf, picking three books from one then picking another eight from other shelves around the room.

"Here, I'll show you what I picked and you can say yes or no, I tried to find some you could understand, but you might have to use a translator for some, I'm sure you'll be able to find one."

He lays the books out, picking up the first one.

"This is about Altean religions, traditions, holidays, and customs, it goes into pretty good detail so it's a long read, yes or no?"

I nod, taking the book from him, "definitely yes!"

We look through books together for awhile, I pick out six that he likely won't miss me taking with me.

He holds up a finger, "wait one moment Lance, I need to get something." He runs out of the room, leaving me to stare at the door in confusion.

Coran walks back in a few tics later, holding a book in his arms, almost protecting it.

He hands it to me, I almost automatically hand it back.

"I can't take this Coran!" I say, staring at him. His smile is soft, gently he sets the book in my hands.

"Alfor wrote this book because he knew they're people out there like us, people that would drop their entire life for another."

The book is titled "Coran and Alfor: A Royal Story" and I know it's the book Alfor wrote for Coran.

"I have a copy, he made three of them, one for us, one for Allura, and one for someone of my choosing," he sets his hand on my shoudler, "and I chose you."

He straightens up, "besides, it's one long book that is quite fun and entertaining, gotta find another way to destract yourself on a journey than just culture books."

My eyes snap up, "how did you know?" I whisper, hoping he won't stop me.

He ruffles my hair, "for one, Alfor and I nearly did the same thing as you and Lotor, he proposed a journey I've always wanted to go on and I accepted, two we had basically the same secret code, and three," he smiles softly, "you shouldn't be under all this stress Lance, none of us should, but I'm happy it's you getting to escape, the other night cycle wasn't the first time you tried to die was it?" I shake my head, "and if you stayed here, it likely wouldn't have been your last, you deserve an amazing life Lance, and you can't find it out here."

My eyes are wide, tears brimming in them, I launch myself at him, hugging him tightly.

"Thank you so much, thank you Coran..." he chuckles, hugging back just as tight.

"I won't tell anyone, but go quickly and quietly, some of us are light sleepers, you don't have to worry about Matt or Allura, but Shiro sometimes walks around at night, I think Hunk figured out your plans, Pidge rarely sleeps, and Keith is onto you and Lotor," his eyes are also brimming with tears, "we will see each other again Lance, make us proud on earth, and watch Lotor, make sure he doesn't get into any trouble."

I laugh, nodding and wiping my eyes, giving him one last hug.

The door to the library opens, I turn to see Lotor standing there, I see that he is holding my backpack.

"Lance? Are you ready to do our facials and nails?" He asks, not aware that Coran already knows.

 I nod, "yeah, help me carry these books." He nods, watching Coran as he watches him. Lotor picks up most of the books, I hold the special one close to my chest.

"You ready to go?" I ask, and Lotor nods, "how long will it take us to get to your ship?" He looks horrified for a second, but one look at Coran, seeing that his facial expression didn't change and realizing Coran knows, it goes away in favor of a small smile.

"Not long, a few varga's, then it's a long trip to earth from there, but don't worry, I'll make sure the trip is comforable for both of us." I smile, blushing a bit.

"We need to go," he turns to Coran, "thank you for keeping this a secret, and for helping Lance." 

Coran smiles, "he's like my son, take care of him please."

Lotor nods, looking at me for a second, smiling. "Don't worry, I promise I will, he's in good hands."

Coran nods, "then go, and be careful."

Lotor grabs mt hand, "ready?" 

I look back at Coran, who is smiling sadly, but nod, grinning at Lotor. 

"I'm ready."


	6. Chapter 6

Lance's POV:

It's quiet, most of the people on the castle ship are asleep or attempting to, but I know not everyone is.

Pidge has been working on a major project so they'll definitely be awake and Coran was right about Keith being onto us, so Lotor and I have to be careful as we sneak to the ship we'll be using to get to his Galra base and the real ship we'll be using to get to earth.

We reach the hanger with the ship, one that is rarely, if ever, used. I found it awhile ago, but never had a need for it, until now.

Lotor opens the door, I climb in after him, closing the door quietly behind me. Lotor gets into the pilot seat, I sit in the one next to him. It has four seats, two in front and two behind those. He starts up the ship, the lights around us turn on, he grips the steeringwheel tightly.

"Are you 100% sure you want to leave, Lance? You don't have to go with me..." he asks, looking over at me.

I smirk at him, "I'm sure, let's get to that base."

His eyes soften, but he smirks back, and the ship begins to move.

I'm shocked into a frozen like state when I hear a very loud scream. My eyes move to my left, where Keith is standing, looking absolutely horrified, tears openly streaming from his eyes. My eyes widen as I stare at him, watching as he breaks down right in front of my eyes. 

"Lotor, floor it." He looks to Keith, understanding. We blast out of the hanger, Keith's horrifed expression staining my mind.

Keith's POV:

I can't believe it.

H-He's gone, Lance is gone.

Tears fall from my eyes and I clench my hands into fists, eyes catching fire.

"No."

I hiss, turning and running in the direction of Red.

I turn on my helmet, something Shiro tells us to have at all times, pressing the button to send a message to everyone.

"Lance left with Lotor, we need to get him back, I repeat, Lance left in a ship with Lotor!" I yell into the microphone, hoping it wakes everyone up, "get to your Lions, we need to find them, there's no way Lance went willingly so-" I stop, coming face to face with Coran.

He's crying too, but shakes his head, making me stop talking, ignoring Allura and Shiro asking for more information.

"Coran...?" I ask, he gently takes the helmet from me.

"Lance did go willingly...I think we should have a talk, everyone go to the dinning room," he says, handing the hemlet back to me. He motions his head in the direction of the dining room, a silent cue to follow him.

I debate, on one hand I could ignore him and go find Lance by myself, on the other Coran seems to know what is happening.

Once Coran starts walking the other way, I make up my mind, following him closely behind.

Lance's face keeps coming to my mind, the anticipation and excitement lacing his eyes scared me because I knew Coran was right.

Lance went willingly, he wanted to leave.

By the time Coran and I reach the dining room, everyone is sitting down, looking at us with worry and confusion.

"Coran, Keith, what happened?" Allura asked, paladin armor on.

Everyone has their armor on, ready to go if we need to.

Coran sighs, "okay, I'll explain everything, Keith how about you sit down?" I don't want to listen, I want to run to Red and track Lance and Lotor down, bring them both here rather they want it or not, but I listen anyways, sitting next to Shiro.

"Keith is correct, Lance left in one of our ships with Lotor," he's cut off by everyone yelling at once, "BUT HE LEFT WILLINGLY!" That shocks everyone, Coran hardly ever yells like that.

"Coran...did you know about this?" Pidge asks, their eyes have a few tears in them, I see that they're gripping Hunk's hand with their own.

Coran nods, "I figured it out at dinner, but it was confirmed when the two of us were picking out books."

Shiro shoots up, startling everyone. "We have to get them! Allura can you track where that ship went?" Allura nods, standing as well.

"No!" Everyone's eyes snap towards Coran, who's eyes seem to be on fire. 

"Lance left because he didn't feel needed, he missed his family and the stress of all this was getting to him severly, I didn't say anything because I was afraid that he would try to kill himself again if he did stay!" He laughs bitterly, "I lied to you guys about his attempt, I said that he wasn't close to death, but he was, if he was found just fifteen minutes later he would have died, he fully meant to die, and I would never let that happen."

Hunk is crying, everyone else in shock, including me.

I knew about Lance's suicide attempt of course...but I had no idea he was really that close to completely his goals...I don't even think Lance knew how close he was.

Allura's eyes were closed, "would your 'journey' with my father happen to be apart of the reason you allowed Lance to go?" We look at her, and it seems like no one but Coran knows what she's talking about.

"Yes," Coran answered, Allura sighs, slumping down in her seat and covering her face with her hands.

"We won't go now, hopefully Lance will gain some sense and realize he made a mistake." 

Pidge looks up, "what if he doesn't?"

Allura looks up, eyes dark, "then he is officially deemed no longer a member of Voltron or the rebellion and will be treated the same as one, no room for argument."

A sufficating silence overtakes us, I swear my breathing stops for a moment.

Hunk, Pidge, and Matt look horrified, Shiro beyond shocked, Coran like he's about to explode, and I can't imagine what I look like.

All I know is that Lance better come back soon, or he'll be an enemy of not only Garla (having Lotor with him doesn't help with that either), but Voltron as well.


	7. Chapter 7

Lance's POV:

It took us about three varga's to reach Lotor's base, which is on a planet I've never seen before. It's a small base, Lotor explained that most of it was underground though. The trip was...really smooth. We didn't see any Galra ships, and shockingly, no one from Voltron came after us.

Which almost scared me...but they're my teammates, or were my teammates I guess, so maybe they just...didn't care?

I don't know though...Keith seemed to care if his tears were anything to go by...and Coran seemed to have cared? Hunk did too when he saw the bag...

Okay, at least a few cared, so why didn't they come after us? Something isn't right...

"Lance, grab your stuff we need to move as quick as possible," Lotor says, shutting off the shortly used ship. I nod, hurrying to grab my bag. The base is completely empty other than us, which is great because, though Lotor has his sword with him, I don't have my bayard, or a weapon in general, and I'm pretty sure he couldn't take an entire Galra army by himself. 

"The ship is underground and protected, only I and my...ex-general's...know about or could get to it, so it should be fine and untouched, unlike the rest of the place..." the base was practically destoryed, it seemed like every single spot possible was searched and shot through or blown up.

If Lotor had gone here, he would have been found and killed almost certainly.

We come up to a dead end, but since Lotor stops I'm guessing this is where the ship's entrance is. 

His eyes drift to me for a second, I give him a reassuring smile, he gives me a smile back.

Suddenly, he begins speaking a different language, after a few words I realizes it's Altean. 

This shocks me, he explained on the other ship that the only way to get in was saying a certain chant, but I expected it to be in Galran. 

The wall slides open, reveling a long hallway. Lotor walks forward, I follow shortly after, five tics after the wall slides shut again. 

"It's set to only be up long enough for five people to enter, each of their walking times were timed and entered so it is set to close basically right after the last of the five enters-" he stops in his tracks, cutting off his sentence. I look from him to in front of us, I feel myself go pale.

In front of us, four girls stand, each looking beyond tired and not at all pleased to see Lotor.

"What the hell are you doing here?" One of them, Zethird, asks, holding her gun tightly.

Lotor clears his throat, obviously shocked. "I'm here to get my ship," he replies, not going to grab his sword.

' _He doesn't want to fight them.'_

I realize with a start, crossing my fingers that none of them attack.

Acxa narrows her eyes at us, looking specifically at me. "So that's where you went...you went to Voltron, captured one of the paladins to beg your father forgivness I suppose?" I cringe, really hoping that what she just said isn't Lotor's true plan.

Lotor laughs, "no, I wouldn't turn Lance over, we're going on an adventure, a trip, but for the trip we need that ship," his eyes drift to the girl in the back, "Narti?"

Ezor snorts, "yeah, luckily you didn't kill her, too weak and cowardly to do that."

Lotor sighs, stepping forward, automatically each of them point their weapons straight at him. His face turns into one of shock and hurt, I almost want to jump in front of him to protect and comfort him, knowing how much it hurts when your team turns on you.

"I...the witch had controlled her, that's how the Galra knew where we were and what we were doing! I-I would never attack a fellow teammate unless needed!" He tries to reason with them, hands going up in a surrendering pose.

Zethrid laughs, "you did it with no hesitation, how were we to know that you wouldn't do the same to us?" Her eyes shift to me, "how do you know Lotor won't attack you the moment it benefits him?"

My own eyes widen, I look from Lotor to them. 

Lotor's own eyes look at me, almost begging me to believe that he would never hurt me, and in that moment I see a side of Lotor I don't know if anyone other than the people in this room have ever seen from the normally arrogant prince.

"I don't know," I look to them, getting into a fighting stance, "but he's giving me the one thing I've wanted since I got into space," Lotor's eyes widen at my movements, "so I'm going to bloody well believe he's not going to hurt me."

They almost laugh, but it's Acxa that speaks first. "You are making a big mistake paladin," she says, almost looking like she will attack.

But she doesn't when Narti walks forward, her cat staring at Lotor, not once glancing to me.

Narti stops a foot in front of Lotor, putting her hand out.

Lotor's eyes widen, looking from Narti's face to her hand. 

"Narti?" Ezor asks, looking confused at her friends actions, same with the other two. Lotor takes Narti's hand, smiling almost greatfully at her, I drop my fighting stance, thinking that it's over and they won't attack, thinking that Narti forgave Lotor.

Suddenly, Lotor screams in pain, shocking me to the core. He drops to his knees, hand still held tightly by Narti, eyes closed and a few tears leaking from his eyes.

My body moves automatically, swiftly grabbing Lotor's sword from his left hand and swing it at Narti's wrist. The girl seems to almost hiss in pain, letting go of Lotor, who stops screaming. I'm not good at fighting with a sword, but like hell am I letting Lotor or myself die today. I grip the handle tightly, glaring at Narti.

Zethrid shoots at me, but I run away, trying to figure out the best way to do this.

I need Lotor to open the ship, I can't fight these girls by myself, the full Voltron team could barely do it.

"You'll regret this Paladin!" Acxa yells, charging at me, as does Ezor. I swing at them, trying to avoid Zethrid's gun at the same time. 

I glare at them, "I'm not a Paladin!" I yell, swinging Lotor's sword as hard as I can. I hit Acxa's gun, it flings to the side, hitting the ground loudly. My legs shoot the direction it went, I hope more than anything that I can reach it before Acxa or Ezor.

Lotor's POV:

My body feels like it's turning inside out.

Slowly, my eyes crack open a bit, only to see Lance, the boy I swore I would protect, fighting my generals, women I trusted.

I feel for my sword, only then do I see that Lance dropped it, but he's running towards Acxa's gun. 

My body burns, but I stand, trying to not be seen by anyone else.

' _If I can just open the ship...'_

I move slowly, turning sharply when I hear a loud cry.

My head whips around, eyes widenening when I see that Lance is gripping his side in pain, on his knees with his face stuck in a silent scream.

Zethrid looks to be about to shoot him, but I refuse to let him die.

I break into a run despite my pain, grabbing my abandoned sword from the floor, sending a silent apology to my old team. I swing my sword down, the blade going clean through Zethrid's shoulder, cutting the entire arm off, the gun dropping with it.

While they're in shock, I pick Lance up, carrying him with one arm to the ship and running inside the moment the door opens. I lock it with every lock and protection I built into it, running into the control room. I look down at Lance, the left side of body from his hip to half up his chest is burned badly, likely from one of their guns, which must have been at a lower setting than normal.

His eyes open a bit, "Lotor?" I nod, opening the control room door. I set him down in one of the chairs, buckling him up, he starts to become more alert as I do this. He looks around, "where are we?" I shush him quickly, running to the pilot seat and powering the ship.

I look at my ex-general's, all of them at watching me from the ground, yet they don't make a move to stop us. I glare, blasting a hole through the celling and flying out, trying to go as fast as possible. I don't pull up the directions to earth, I just fly one way and hope for the best.

I don't see a ship following us, but I don't slow down.

"Lotor...Lotor!" Lance yells, I look behind me, the boy looks frantic, moving what's left of his shirt to the side. 

The burn is spreading.

I curse, punching in some corrdinates and allowing autopilot take over. I rush to Lance, "damnit, we need to get you into a healing pod..." I say, unbuckling him and picking him up, running down the hallway to where the med bay is.

I built this ship in case of all situations, it has everything we would need unless They changed something without me knowing.

The med bay is small, but it has two healing pods, both still in working order.

I open one, setting Lance down. He looks terrified, I gently smooth down his hair, it's soft.

"You're going to be fine, Lance," I reasure him, "you'll only be in here for maybe eight varga's, and when you get out we'll be closer to earth okay? I already set a course..." he nods, but its hesitant. I smile, gently kissing forehead before laying him in the healing pod.

He looks confused for a moment, before the lid of the pod is closed and he's forced to fall asleep.

I slump down in one of of the chairs, covering my face with my hands, and finally let all of my tears free.

_'God, I'm bloody weak...crying three instances in such a short span of time...before I was betrayed I don't know the last time I cried...or felt something like this...?'_

My eyes drift to the sleeping boy, the only one on my side.

_'Could I...be falling for Lance...?'_

I shake my head.

' _No, I-I couldn't gain anything from liking Lance...but what the hell is this feeling?'_

I sigh, looking back at Lance.

' _That's a problem for another day...but for now, one thing is for certain...it's Lance and I against the entire universe, no one on our side but us.'_


	8. Chapter 8

Lotor's POV:

Lance has been in the healing pod for awhile now, during that time I've been trying to figure out how long it will take us to reach earth.

We can't wormhole or do anything to make this thing go faster than it's normal top speed because it was been deactivated under a passcode I'm not aware of, likely put there by Acxa, so the trip will likely be ten quintants, maybe more.

I've also been trying to figure out where to put Lance for sleeping.

They're five bedrooms on this ship, as well as a bathroom attached to each, a kitchen, dining room, common room, weapons/training room, and med bay, where Lance is at now. 

Though, each bedroom was designed with one of my generals or myself  in mind, so I have no idea which would find Lance best, plus I want him near me at all times...if he's comforable with that.

I try to convince myself it's so I can keep him safe...but I can't fool myself.

That's the other thing I've been thinking about during Lance's time in the healing pod, how I feel about him.

It can't be 'love', as I've only known him a short time, but maybe a...respect? Admiration? Like? A mix of all three?

I sigh, leaning back in my chair and watching the planet we're passing.

It's light blue, looks as if it's completely covered by water, and it's two moons are both yellow, but one is a darker yellow than the other.

The door to the control room slides open, I turn around, where Lance stands in the doorway. His shirt is missing, and the burn is pretty much gone, though where the gun originally shot is going to scar I'm sure.

He walks over, leaning on my chair and looking at the planet. 

"There's a lot of water on earth you know," he tells me, I smirk, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh really? Tell me about earth..." my voice goes lower, but he doesn't seem to notice.

"Well...it's big, and mostly water, though they're seven major landmasses, we call them continents. There's Antarctica, no one lives there though because of how cold it is, Africa, Australia, Asia, Europe, South America, and North America, that's where I live," he sighs with a smile, "and then those continents are divided into countries, but they're over 195 of them so I'm not going to name all of them, but I'm from Cuba, which is an island off the coast of Mexico and the United States...it's where my family is."

I spin the chair to fully face him, "how about we head to the dining room to eat hm? And you can tell me everything, I would love to learn more about your family and home 'country' as you called it."

He smiles, nodding, "sure, being shot really makes a person hungry." He laughs, making me chuckle with him.

"Yes, we also need to decide where you are to sleep." He looks at me weird.

"What do you mean? Aren't I going to sleep with you?" My eyes widen, not expecting that, his do as well once he realizes what he just said, going red. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't realize there was-" 

"It's okay Lance, it's not a big deal," I cut him off, "you may sleep with me if you wish, the other rooms were made to house specific people, I'm sure you can guess who," he nods, "so you may even feel better sleeping with me over one of the other rooms, but it is your decision."

He goes quiet, but smiles. "I can look at the rooms and decide then, okay?" He asks, and I nod, smiling back.

"Yes, now lets go eat, I'm sure the machine still works fine."

Keith's POV:

It's quieter without Lance here.

Everyone is more stressed despite it only being a day without him here.

Pidge and Hunk aren't happy with Allura for saying Lance is now basically an enemy of Voltron, which we may not even be able to form now because of that, not to mention how I'm angry about it too.

Granted, I am mad at him, but at the same time I can't be mad at him since I did the exact same thing when I ran to the Blade...but I guess it is a bit different since Lotor is the ex-Prince of the Galra and thr Blade are rebels against the Galra.

Shrio hasn't left his room all day, a part of me thinks that he blames himself for some reason, maybe he thinks he could have been a better leader for Lance, or told him that he was proud of all the work Lance has done to help the team...I guess no one but Shiro really knows.

I've been in the training room all day, working myself to the bone, and because all I want is to go out in Red and get Lance back so I need to put that energy somewhere.

Pidge hasn't left Greens hanger, constantly working on something, maybe tracking down Lance and Lotor.

Hunk has been cooking, baking, and breaking things and then fixing them right after, he explained it helped him calm down...but I don't really get it.

Allura has been in the control room most of the day, and Coran hasn't left the library other than to check on the rest of us a few vargas ago.

We need Lance here, I wish we could have made sure he knew that before he left.

Lance's POV:

After eating, Lotor has this neat machine where you just type in what you want to eat, put in the needed ingredients, and in a few minutes it's done, we look at the bedrooms to try and decide where to put me.

Lotor promised we could redecorate one of the rooms if I wanted, we just needed to go to the space mall to get stuff, I said I would think about it since I don't want to risk being caught.

First we looked at Zethrid's room, which honestly scared me, same with Narti's, plus the floor and bed was covered in cat hair. Ezor's was really bright colored so it hurt my eyes, so I decided on Acxa's room, which came with multiple guns just in case one was needed, and it was the closed to Lotor's bedroom.

Wait...was that something I was factoring in the entire time?

_'No, no, no, no, I can't like Lotor, h-he's Galra! And a ex-Prince of the same race...he's just a nice guy that's taking me home that's all...though he is also the first person in awhile to act like he has respect for me...and he's not bad looking...but Galra! Voltron's enemy!'_

I stop my train of thought.

_'But...I'm not a member of Voltron anymore...so their beliefs shouldn't affect mine...and I don't think Lotor has done anything that bad...I hope.'_

"Goodnight Lance, I'll see you after this sleep cycle," Lotor says, I blink, looking up at him.

"O-Oh, um, goodnight Lotor!" His eyes widen a bit at my sudden nervousness, but he smiles now the less, turning and walking into his room.

I watch him, looking down at his butt for a quick second.

_'...shit, I do like Lotor.'_


	9. Chapter 9

Lance's POV:

Lotor's ship is...really nice, but Axca's room kind of freaks me out, not that I would emit that.

So the two of us are stopping by the space mall to grab ingredients and things for the two of us, including room furniture.

We can't get rid of most of it, since it's stuff to the wall or floor, but new sheets and some extra things to make it more 'me' and clothes for both of us are the goal idems to get on todays shopping extravaganza.

"So, explain how you aren't going to be caught again?" He's already told me a dozen times, but it still amazes me when he shows me.

"Lance, I will tell you once more, Galra can shape shift, with limitations, so I will change my height, skin, eye, and hair color, length as well for my hair," he explains, landing our, shit I mean his, ship in a forest area near the space mall.

He sighs, unbuckling his seatbelt, I follow soon after, standing and walking after him as we head towards the door.

"So what colors/length are you thinking?" He hums, looking up.

"I have a few ideas, what would you like?" Lotor asks me, looking at me with a look I can't place, although I think a part of my mind knows what it is. 

My eyes widen, an idea slipping into my mind without my permission.

"I can pick?" I ask, shocked.

He shrugs, not breaking eye contact with me, "yes that is what I said, what do you think would make me look best?" 

I look away, blushing, "do you think that...you could look kind of like me? You know, from earth?" He gives me a strange look, "I-I mean I love how you look now of course! Very handsome!" I exclaim loudly (during my defence yell I don't notice him blush at the complement my mind and mouth missed me shouting), "but I'm kind of curious on how you would look? And I kind of miss seeing people that look similar to me..."

He blinks, but nods, closing his eyes for a moment and consentrating.

I watch in amazement at the display, watching as Lotor changes his appearance.

His white hair turns black and gets shorter, changing into a length a bit longer than mine with a ton of curls. His skin goes from purple to a shade darker than my own, almost like Hunk or Allura's. He gets a bit shorter, but remains taller than me. When he's done, opening his eyes, I see they are a deep brown.

Anyone who says brown eyes aren't beautiful must be idiots, Lotor's eyes like this are are two of the most mesmerizing eyes I've ever seen.

Although he looks amazing, I find myself already missing the real Lotor.

"Is this fine?" He asks, looking himself over.

I nod, "yeah, yeah you look great."

Lotor gives me a smile, "thank you Lance," I halfway melt at his voice, "we need to move quickly, I'm sure some people will recognize you from Voltron, yes?" 

I nod, "tha...that could be possible, Lotor, I'm honestly am not sure how many people could match me to the Blue or Red Paladin-" I stop, looking away from Lotor to the ground.

"What is wrong? Did I say something?" Lotor asks, I shake my head.

"N-No, I just...I just haven't really...processed it? My...lack of an important position? O-Or how I can't really do anythig  special anymore? Being a Paladin was...the only important thing I'll ever do...I'm kinda just...useless now? I-I don't know...it's stupid..." the entire sentence is a mess of trying not the cry, my mind jumping from Lotor to Hunk and Pidge, my best friends in the entire world...galaxy now! And I just left them...

"Lance, look at me." I don't look up, feeling childish because my situation is nothing compared to Lotor's. 

He was forced out, I choose to leave.

Lotor sighs, I fell cold hands softly grab either side of my face, gently forcing me to look at him.

"Lance, your...self hating thoughts don't affect me in the same way they...affected your old teammates..." my heart shatters, I feel a tear slide from my eye.

_'He...doesn't care? God I should have known better! Nobody cares for me in the slightest! I thought he was different, but he's just like they were! I-I should just open an airlock and...!'_

"...as I don't really think humans have such a reaction when a situation such as this one happens, but correct me if I am wrong of course." My eyes narrow a bit in confusion.

"H-Huh? Wha...What situation?" I ask, he signs, closing his eyes like he did just a few minutes ago. I watch as his body goes back to normal, his eyes open, reviling the eyes I shouldn't love as much as I do.

"In a sitiuation where...this isn't how I wanted to go about this..." he looks a little stressed, looking around before landing on the 'throne' as he called it, "okay."

He grabs my hand softly, dragging me over to the chair, sitting and then placing me in his lap. I freeze up a bit, not expecting anything like _this_ to happen.

I mean, don't get me wrong, this has been a...reacurring thought in my head, but I didn't expect it to happen this soon! Or at all if I'm completely honest...

"Is this not okay? Are you uncomfortable?" He asks, a look of concern flashing through the stress. 

I shake my head, "no...no I'm fine, Lotor."

He nods, giving me a small smile, "well, when Galra...desire someone, rather in a sexual or...romantic manor, their feelings get...affected in a certain way," Lotor starts, looking at me. I must look like a blushes mess, but he doesn't say anything in response to it.

"For example, if the desired is sad, the one who is desiring them wants to...protect and...love them until they feel better? And if it goes on long enough or hits an extreme level...the other begins to feel it just as strongly...if not even stronger because they haven't been able to help." A wave of realization washes over me, but it's...it's too good to be true.

"Wha...What does this have to do with me?" I ask, watching Lotor's ever move, he is doing the same to me.

"I guess it's easier to...show you rather than explain, yes?" Before I can truely process it, Lotor is kissing me hesitately. 

When I don't respond he pulls back, looking away.

"I-I apologize Lance, I shouldn't have-" I grab the front od his armor, looking at him in the eyes with the most serious expression I can manage.

"If you really mean this Lotor, then kiss me and regret nothing about it," I whisper harshly, his eyes widen for a moment, but then his mouth turns into a smirk.

"If you wish." Suddenly we're kissing again, but it's more passionate, the hesitation leaving as fast as it came.

"God Allura would hate me for this," I whisper inbetween breaths, Lotor chuckles.

"She already hates me, let's make it two for one, yes?" I nod, running my hands through his hair, lightly grabbing it in my fingers. 

Lotor's hands are on my ass, but the touch is light, like he's testing the waters.

"I guess we do not need to buy anything for Acxa's room," he says with a small laugh.

"Why not?" I ask, leaning my forehead on his.

His hand tucks a lose strand of hair behind my ear, "because after this I am not allowing you to sleep anywhere but with me in my bed."

I laugh, smiling softly at him, "anything for you mi rey, but we still need to buy ingredients so we need to go to the space mall, even though you hate it."


	10. Chapter 10

Lance's POV:

I don't know why I thought dating Lotor would be different from dating a human.

I mean...it's not the same thing of course, and it's nothing like when I dated girls...granted it's not the same as the time I dated a guy either?

Of course, I knew Lotor wasn't going to be like Nico, who had tried multiple times to get me to have sex with him in the two months leading up to me leaving for the Garrison.

The guilt tripping almost worked a few times.

We had only dated four months, and the final two and a half were not good, luckily we broke up a week before I went to the Garrison.

But Lotor, so far at least, isn't anything like Nico!

It's only been two days, fifteen until we reach Earth (Lotor sadly did a few miscalculations during my time in the healing pod and it's going to take longer to get home), and Lotor has been nothing but a gentleman, even after I had to sleep back in Acxa's room because of how uncomforable I got.

The last time I slept in the same bed as someone I was in a romantic relationship with was Nico, and that kind of made me nervous even though I know Lotor is not him.

I'll probably try again tonight, I've had a few days to think and calm myself down so maybe I'll be ready now.

Somehow, though I'm not complaining, we haven't had any run in's with the Galra.

Though if the broadcasts are anything to go by, Zarkon is still trying to find Lotor and the kill on sight orders are still active.

Pidge's POV:

My eyes burn and my head is killing me, but I'm _so close_.

"Fuck yeah..." I smile, exhausted but excited because I finally found Lotor's ship.

It's lightyears from our location, but if I just do this...I can maybe have the ability to broadcast a video chat to the ship...

"Fuck yeah times two," I pick up my helmet, "hey Hunk think you can come down to Green's hanger and help me out with something? Bring Matt as well cause he might come in handy, Keith too if you see him cause I need to ask him a question about Red."

It's all lies, but I can't risk Allura or Shiro hearing.

Allura is still beyond pissed with Lance, so you can understand why I don't want her to know where he or Lotor is.

And Shiro...although he's not on board with Allura's ideas right now...I can't risk anything.

My brother may be dating him, but Matt knows when to keep a secret from Shiro when it matters.

"Is everything okay, Pidge?" Hunk asks, walking over with Matt and Keith in tow.

"Did something happen with Red?" Keith asks, sitting next to me.

I shake my head, pointing at the laptop screen.

"Are those..?" I nod, looking at Hunk.

"Yeah, that's where Lance is." Their eyes widen, Keith takes the laptop from my hands, looking over the loction multiple times.

"I think I might be able to connect to the ship, then maybe we could video chat Lance, make sure he's okay and stuff," I smile at them.

Matt hugs me, "oh Pidge you are a genius, pull it up, pull it up!"

I chuckle, stealing my laptop from Keith.

I put in the needed code, tapping my fingers as we wait.

Suddenly, Lotor's face comes on the screen, Lance sitting next to him alive and well, both looking confused.

Lance's eyes widen as he smiles, "Pidge?!" He looks at the other three with me, "Hunk! Matt!" He smirks at Keith, "Mullet."

Keith rolls his eyes, "it's nice to see you too Lance."

Lotor is smiling at Lance, but he looks concerned.

"How did you manage to connect to this ship, Green Paladin?" Lotor asks, I wave him off, a minute away from falling asleep.

"Don't worry Furry boy, I have skills others don't have, it took me ages to find you guys." Lance laughs, leaning his head on Lotor's shoulder.

Keith looks pained at the action, but he covers it up quickly.

"So...you two a thing now?" Matt asks, one eyebrow raised.

Lance chuckles, "yeah...he's not terrible once you get to know him," his eyes turn nervous, "are...are you guys okay?"

Hunk nods, "yeah buddy...we're okay...we miss you a lot though...what about you?"

Lance smiles, "I'm okay, we're about fifteen days from Earth," his eyes widen, "hold up I have to show you this thing we found at the space mall, I'll be right back!"

He runs off, leaving us with Lotor.

"Do you-" "Allura says you two are offically enemys of Voltron," Keith says bluntly, cutting off Lotor, who freezes.

He blinks, looking behind him to see if Lance was back.

"Do you think the same?" We each shake our heads.

"No, it seems only Allura does...Coran is trying to talk her out of it and Shiro just doesn't know what to think," Matt tells him with a sad expression, "please don't tell Lance, it would crush him."

Lotor stares at us, but nods, looking back when Lance runs in, holding what looks like...

"Holy fuck! Lance, is that...?" I exclaim, and he nods with a huge smile.

"Yes! Monsters of Treachery III! I found it at the Earth store, and I remembered how to set up the tv and console so I've been able to play it!" His smile turns sad, "I kind of wish I could play it with you guys...Lotor isn't much competition." Lotor looks offended, but even I can tell he's playing.

"How could you Lance? I'm very good at Monsters of Treasure thank you very much, I have the best teacher after all." Matt gags while Hunk chuckles, and Keith...Keith just kind of looks sad, maybe a bit jealous?

"Monsters of Treachery, and thank you, but Pidge could beat me any day," Lance smirks at me, winking, "though you'll never hear that from me."

We talk and laugh together for awhile, until the door to the Green Lion's hanger opens.

"Hey guys...is everything okay?" Shiro asks, looking worried at our scared expressions.

"Is that Shiro?" Lance asks before I can disconnect, making Shiro's eyes widen.

"Was that...Lance?" We don't answer, so Shiro takes it on himself to find the answer, walking over and grabbing the laptop from me.

Shiro stares at the screen, seeing Lance and Lotor together on a ship, said ship's coordinates in the rop right corner for him to see and tell Allura.

Though, Shiro does the last thing any of us expected.

He starts to cry.

"Oh my god Lance you're alive, when Keith told us you left I was so scared," Shiro whips his eyes, "I was angry at first, but then I started thinking about it and I talked to Coran and-" Shiro sinks down on the wall, a few feet from us, "I'm so sorry I wasn't a better leader for you."

I can't see Lance nor Lotor's reactions, but I can't imagine they would be much different from ours.

"Shiro...I-" "Shiro I saw you come in here and-"

All of our heads snap towards the entrance, where Allura stands, looking shocked at all of us sitting here with Shiro crying.

"Hey was that-?" Shiro ends the call automatically, closing the laptop a little too rough.

Allura's eyes are wide, but they narrow, "how did you contact him?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys know it hurts me to make Allura a bad guy, I love her so much :(


End file.
